Self-Development and Self-Discipline: Training the Soul for the Long Road

Self-development takes a great deal of work, and all of it must be directed at our goals. It also requires us to be disciplined in pursuing those goals in the proper way and with the right mindset. It is not a one-day job. Rather, it requires constant daily effort over a lifetime.

Unfortunately, most people give up after a few days because of a lack of self-discipline. The daily routine becomes too much for them, and they choose to do something easier or are distracted by someone or something.

So how do we build the discipline to keep going?

Being Kind and Hard on Ourselves

When we want to develop ourselves, we need to be kind to ourselves. Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity, and growth cannot survive constant self-punishment. Yet we also need to be hard on ourselves, so that we stay in control of our ego, our desires, and our whims. We must also resist every suggestion, whether it comes from Satan (Shaytan) or from people around us, that pulls us toward something different from our God-inspired goals. The Qur'an promises Paradise to the one who feared standing before his Lord and restrained his soul from its inclinations (Qur'an 79:40–41).

Putting Our Goals on Autopilot

We need a daily schedule, a weekly schedule, and a monthly schedule to work toward our goals and develop good habits. Then we can go on "autopilot" and let our routine achieve our goals incrementally and automatically, through consistency. The Prophet (SAW) taught that the most beloved deeds to Allah are the most consistent, even if they are small (Sahih al-Bukhari 6464; Sahih Muslim 782).

Doing the same work every day can seem boring. But if our goals are truly God-inspired, we will always feel butterflies in our stomachs when we see them or restate them daily. That feeling keeps us motivated and disciplined.

Building the Discipline Muscle

Discipline can be developed through self-denial in a controlled manner. Let us enjoy the pleasures of life, but let us also deliberately deny them to ourselves at times, in order to develop the self-discipline muscle. Daily prayer at inconvenient hours, fasting (within our health and capacity), charity, community service, and other good deeds may seem hard to do. But they build discipline until the body and mind become a well-oiled machine, running under the control of our rational mind to achieve our goals. We are then no longer distracted by doubts, delusions, or negative influences.

Start small, stay consistent, and keep the goal in sight. The routine will carry us further than our mood ever could.