Friday, November 9, 2018

Etiquette of Entry

In Islam, people are entitled to their privacy. Everyone has their own private space, personal things and individuality. The Quran calls this space a "bayt". The word bayt is derived from the verb baata/ubeetu, which means to spend a night a certain place. So this might be someone's house or for the people of the same household it might be their bedroom. They might have it all for themselves or they may be sharing it with someone. In order to respect that privacy, Islam has made obligatory a certain etiquette for the entry of such private places.

It is among the principles of Islam, that it aims to preserve people's wealth, honor and lives. When visiting someone, one makes oneself known by knocking or ringing the bell which can be a maximum of three times. If the resident does not open the door, the visitor should not mind it, nor should they persist in entry but they should return. They should not try to force themselves into the home. Such behavior causes bad feeling among the people. It might also cause the residents to be startled. Islam forbids that people deliberately frighten others. They might also be engaged in an activity that they do not want outsiders to know about.

Furthermore, it is from the etiquette that the visitor does not stand in front of that door so that his eyesight might fall to what is in the house if the door opens. Rather he should stand to the right or left of the door looking away from it. The visitor should also make himself known by making a peculiar noise that distinguishes him or announcing this name. He should not just say "it is me" but he should state his name. He should also say "As Salaamu Alaikum" and seek permission to enter.

This is the formal protocol of someone entering a house or a private space. It is allowed to forgo this protocol for people who frequently enter the house of some other understanding with respect to an informal protocol has been reached with them with respect to entry.

A man is required to seek permission in the private room of his mother and daughter. He should make himself known and seek permission to enter. If permission is not granted he should turn away. When visiting other people's homes, it is obligatory for men to announce themselves and seek permission before entering the sitting area of the women. We should also give salaams to the women, but not to socialize with them. Islam does not seek to establish unnatural segregation between women whereby they do not communicate whatsoever. Neither does it seek complete free-mixing.

One should not look around when visiting someone, neither should they open their drawers and wardrobes. If they were allowed to look at these things they would not have been kept hidden from view of the visitors. They should respect their privacy. This rule does not apply to children when it comes to parents. Parents are responsible for their children and they have the right to inspect all their things, but they should do this in a open manner with their children's knowledge. The trust between parents and children should never be damaged.

PS: Seeking permission a maximum of three times also applies to telephone calls. One should not persist calling after three missed calls.

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