Perhaps the most influential factor in changing my life has
been my association with the Quran. Growing up in the United Arab Emirates, the
Quran was always there somewhere in the background of things. I learnt to read
it with a Qari and read several azjaa of the Quran under his
supervision, never to open it again until my university days in the United
States. The summer before I left Abu Dhabi to the States, we visited Pakistan
as was our annual ritual. In those days I used to turn to my maternal cousins in
Pakistan for wisdom and guidance. So, during that trip, I confided with my
cousin that I did not feel confident leaving home for the first time and that
too to a non-Muslim country. The absence of any religious / Arabic instruction
in my secular international school in Abu Dhabi had not prepared me for it. My
cousin, in his wisdom, thought it proper to take me to the market to buy some
Islamic books. One among these was Marmaduke Pickthall’s English translation of
the meaning of the Holy Quran. It was worth Rs. 75 at the time. It turned out
that Rs. 75 was the most profitable transaction that I ever made! I was 18
then.
In school, there was not one subject that was my favorite. I
enjoyed and saw the intrinsic beauty in almost all subjects I studied. When the
time came to choose a major, I just went with what was popular at that time,
i.e. Electrical Engineering. I enjoyed it and did very well, finishing the
program before time and graduating with honors, Alhamdulillah. Before retiring
to bed, more often than not, I used to read at random from Marmaduke Pickthall.
I did not understand much of it. There were no footnotes nor any tafseer, just
verse by verse translation in literary English. It was not until the sophomore
year when I went for summer school to Lansing, Michigan, that this translation
started affecting me. In East Lansing Islamic Center, near the campus of
Michigan State University, I heard an audio tape. I recognized that it was
playing the same translation that I used to read at night in Pickthall’s own
rendition, but what was different was the fact that it was interwoven by the
very beautiful recitation of the corresponding Arabic by Qari Shakir Qasmi. I
asked the brothers about it and they said that they can make a copy of the
entire set for me for $50. That was another profitable transaction that I made!
I was 20 then. The impact of the pure Arabic is indescribable, especially if
you understand its literal meaning by the translation that followed every
Arabic verse. When I returned to Buffalo, NY, my bed time routine was
transformed to listening to the $50 tapes while following from the Rs. 75 book.
This experience made me undergo deep emotions and tears used to flow
uncontrollably as I listened to divine speech. Yet, I did not understand it. I did
not understand the highly literary vocabulary and I was completely ignorant of
its context. I distinctly remember in one of those snowy nights in Buffalo, I
made a dua: “O Allah! I am convinced that this is the Truth from you due to the
emotional impact it has made on me. Please make me capable of understanding the
message you are conveying to me!”
I listened to those tapes during my graduate school and the
four years of my professional life in the States. I listened to it constantly
while my ears were free: while driving, doing chores, cooking, before dozing
off, etc. It eventually colored my mind with the correct/natural/proper thought
patterns in all aspects of life. Slowly, I felt I did not belong to any
particular group and thus did not feel obliged to follow any social trends.
Rather, the Quran enabled me to seek out guidance and comfort from universal
principles. It gave me confidence to make decisions in life, even if they were
contrary to popular opinion. Basically, the Quran gave me a conscience to act
instinctively to what I felt was uniquely right for me. By listening to it
constantly, it developed a natural magnetic field around me which attracts
certain things in certain situations and repels others in others. By following
its commands and shunning its prohibitions, I found this field grows in
strength. In Islamic terminology, it is called eemaan – a force that can give undiminishing reserves of energy to
very ordinary humans.
The context of the Quran came to me slowly, over the years.
In graduate school, I read my first Seerah
book – Martin Lings’ “The Life of Muhammad (SWAS)”. While working
professionally, I have never stopped taking Islamic/Arabic courses online and
onsite, still continue to do so and plan to continue till my last moments, insha Allah. What have specially helped
me are courses in Aqeedah, Arabic, Tafseer, Seerah, Tazkiyya and Tajweed. My knowledge is still very much
lacking in Fiqh and Hadeeth.
Although, I do not claim to understand all the Quran, but today I can
understand its basic message and worldview in the intended manner without the
use of translations and tafseer books, Alhamdulillah. I understand that it
needs constant effort, which I continue to exert.
I believe that all the uncountable blessings I enjoy today
including eeman, stable family life,
fulfilled career and professional accomplishments, wealth, peace, security,
health, vision, skills, balance, wisdom, conscience, courage, love of learning,
righteous company, etc. have been a gift from Allah (SWT) through my association
with His speech. Some inexpensive transactions and decisions made in the early
part of my life turned out to transform it to provide invaluable blessings of
this life and the next (insha Allah).
May Allah (SWT) give me enough tawfeeq
to fulfill the trust of the Quran. Ameen.
